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A Seder for All Our Sons & Daughters:
Adapting the Seder for Special Needs Children

Shelley Kapnek Rosenberg, Ed.D.
Sharon S. Schanzer, Ph.D.

The Pesah seder is one of the highlights of the Jewish calendar. Yet, families who have a child with a learning disability, attention deficit disorder, mild mental retardation or other condition that makes it difficult to sustain attention may find the long, complicated ceremony frustrating rather than fulfilling.

The message of the seder, as exemplified by the story of the Four Sons, is that it is incumbent upon Jewish parents to teach the story of the Exodus to all their children, regardless of a child's intellectual or psychological ability. The Jewish educational ideal of , teaching every child according to his, or her, way, encourages accommodations for a child's specific needs.

While the seder is a home ritual, most day and supplementary religious schools spend considerable time teaching its components to students. Teachers of special children can help parents learn how to adapt the seder for their children by conducting a model seder in which specific modifications have been made or by presenting these adaptations in a family education program. Teachers can also distribute this article or their own ideas for modifications to parents when appropriate.

Many attributes of the seder make accommodation easier than one might think. The Haggadah lays out the natural order of the seder - order is the very meaning of the word seder - in a simple structure that is repeated year after year. Many portions of the ceremony are hands-on and participatory, enabling children to get actively involved. And, the seder is a home-based ritual, allowing people who are willing to adapt their seders to include everyone in a positive way.

However, the seder remains a lengthy ceremony, including many passive - sitting quietly and listening - portions. The language, even the English, is difficult, and the concepts - freedom, slavery, bitterness, redemption - are advanced. People have different levels of tolerance for children who cannot behave appropriately, and some are more willing than others to accept accommodations.

Adapting a seder requires forethought and preparation. Think about the child one is aiming to accommodate. What are his strengths and weaknesses? What engages or distracts him? How should the seder look, sound and feel to enable, rather than hinder, his participation?

Think next about the room where the seder will be held. Is it formal and formidable, with many breakable knick-knacks? Can the child see, hear and feel readily involved in the action? Can he move away from the table, if necessary, yet remain close by?

Think, too, about the other guests at the seder. Are they accepting of this child and his special needs, or judgmental, either verbally or through unspoken, but clear, body language? Will they acquiesce willingly to the idea of accommodation and compromise, or will they feel cheated by other than a comprehensive, traditional seder? Will they help create an inclusive experience that fulfills the mandate and the mitzvah of teaching all Jewish children? Most adults do not question adaptations made for young children. Speaking to guests prior to the holiday can help them understand that adaptations also need to be made for older children with special needs.

Fortunately, certain basic tenets of special education make the planning process easier:

• Structure is one of the hallmarks of special education. Children who have difficulty with sustained attention are comforted and helped to concentrate when order is imposed and they know what to expect. The innate structure of the seder, clearly delineated in the Haggadah, helps immensely. Advance preparation might include listing the order on a chart, perhaps with pictures or symbols. Participants can sing it, recite it, use sign language and even move an arrow down the chart to indicate the progress through the ritual.
  
  
• Multi-sensory instruction and concrete materials are also basic to special education and built into the seder. The seder includes songs, stories and poems. Specific ritual actions - washing, dipping, opening a door - accompany certain prayers or sections of narrative. Interesting and unique foods - the shankbone, haroset and maror - are concrete representations of complicated concepts. An inclusive seder will accentuate these sections of the ceremony and even provide additional opportunities for hands-on participation and movement when none exist. (Some suggestions follow.)
  
  
• Advance preparation might also include discussion with the child, making explicit the connection between concrete symbols used in the seder and the abstract concepts they represent. Examples appropriate to the child's experience, about slavery, freedom or sacrifice can increase a child's appreciation of the story and ceremony.
  
  Since a traditional seder is usually a rather lengthy affair, accommodation suggests a shorter ceremony, with fewer sections of lengthy narrative, or, at least, the opportunity for children to leave the table if accommodations are not made. Books or quiet games can be available, or a willing adult volunteer might direct children in more active activities.
  
  The Haggadah itself could be revised to enable a special needs child to use it. The ambitious planner can create a customized Haggadah in a looseleaf notebook, or simply use one of the many excellent children's Haggadot available. The text should be at an appropriate reading level and the pages should be clear and uncluttered. Pictures make each page more illustrative of the narrative and visually appealing.
  
  A common seder custom in many families is reading around the table. While participation is encouraged, catching a child unprepared certainly is not. A special needs child should be asked to do only those things he can do successfully. Teach the child to read a specific part in advance, or call on him for a simple active role, such as washing hands or opening the door for Elijah. Feeling prepared will often enable a child to wait attentively and with pleasant anticipation, rather than anxiety, for his moment in the spotlight.
  
  
• Individual attention is also crucial. A patient adult or older child, one-on-one, helping the child follow the ceremony, can help him stay focused and attentive.
  
  
• Behavioral expectations, especially if the children are allowed to leave the table or to participate through activities, should be clear. They must be guided toward appropriate types of participation or signaled - perhaps even literally through a secret sign - when they are beginning to exceed the bounds of acceptable behavior. Children with poor impulse control often cannot tell when they are getting out of bounds and are not able to restrain themselves when they do.
  
  

These guidelines can be generalized to other home-based ceremonies or synagogue services throughout the year. Enabling children with special needs to participate appropriately in Jewish rituals will decrease anxiety and tension and increase the simha, for everyone involved.

Reprinted with permission from Jewish Education News, Spring 5755. New York, NY: Coalition/or the Advancement of Jewish Education, 1995.

The Order of the Seder: Adaptations for Inclusion Following are suggestions for adapting each section of the seder to make it more accessible to children with special needs. Each child should be given parts appropriate to his abilities. Kadesh:The first kiddush. The child stands up and holds the cup. Urhatz: Washing the hands. A child washes symbolically for the group. Karpas: Greens. The child dips the greens into the salt water and serves the guests. Yahatz: Breaking the middle matzah. Children can hide the afikomen from the adults; the leader can hide it and the chiidren can find it; the leader can hide it and the children try to find it (while the leader does rohtzah) and re-hide it. Maggid: Telling the story. Act out sections of the story or use puppets. Ask the Four Questions in unison, taking turns, or in English as well as in Hebrew. Encourage children to ask questions of their own. Bring pictures of the Ten Plagues. Let children dip their juice out of their cups. The child can show the shankbone, matzah and bitter herbs to the group and help tell the story of the Exodus in his/her own words. Rohtzah: Washing the hands. Children can, again, wash symbolically for the group. Motzi Matzah/Maror: The blessings over the matzah and bitter herbs. Teach these short blessings, in Hebrew or English, in advance. The children can display the ritual foods for everyone to see. Korekh: Making the Hillel sandwich. The child can help serve the ingredients of the sandwich around the table. Shulhan Orekh: The meal. Children can eat quickly and leave the table. Appropriate activities should await them. Tzafun: Finding the afikomen. An active time, but one which demands behavior limits so that children do not get out of control. Be sure to have age appropriate gifts for everyone. Barekh: The blessings after the meal. Ask children what they are thankful for at Passover. Let them open the door for Elijah. Hallel: Songs which praise God. Choose songs, in English and Hebrew, which children know and can lead. Nirtzah: Conclusion. The traditional wish is Next Year in Jerusalem. Ask each child his/her wish for the next year.

From Highlights, Spring 1997/5757